In the last 21 months, I've cleaned up some horribly gross stuff, but nothing (and I mean NOTHING) compares to today

It’s been an adventure that’s for sure.   I am not even sure where to begin.   Let’s start at the very beginning….a very good place to start.  When you read you begin with ABC when you sing you begin with Do Re Mi….

Um…sorry about that.

Ok, we got up early early today, however not as early as we thought be might, since we forgot about the time change until late last night.  That gave us an extra hour of sleep and we only had to get up at 5:30 this morning.   We got everything pack up and got Andrew in the car and headed off to Chicago.  So far so good.  Andrew of course woke up and didn’t go back to sleep, but that’s minor.  He had his full sippy of milk and was happy.  Marc napped and I drove to Garth, Shakira and Jars of Clay (there’s an eclectic mix for ya).   We were making good time and were right on schedule to arrive at IKEA right when there doors opened for breakfast.   However, little man was really getting hungry and so was mommy and it was 10am our time, so I pulled out a breakfast bar for him.   He ate only half of it and gave the rest back, with an “I don’t want it”, which is bizarre since he loves them.  

Crisis #1
Well, about 8 minutes from IKEA we hear Andrew cough, we look back and he had puked all over himself.  Not spit up puke…um….more like he just ate 5 course meal puke.   There was a ton of it and it was everywhere and it was disgusting.  No, disgusting is not even a word that touches the surface of the level of grossness this was.  And the smell….Oh My Gosh.     We pulled into a gas station right away and got out…. It took 15 minutes of wiping him down with wet wipes, to even be able to get him out of his car seat.  Let me remind you that it is freezing out, wet wipes are cold, and this is the epitome of all things that are evil.   I am convinced that along with the Lake of Fire, there will be section for cleaning up vomit of this caliber.  So, we get to the point where we can at least get Andrew out of his seat.  I take him into the restroom to strip and change him while Marc takes over clean-up duty.  But of course, it’s not like it was in a nice little pile on the floor we could mop up.  It was all in the intricate workings of the carseat's multiple buckles.   I come back out and we switch off duties again since one can only stand outside in the cold, hovering over rancidness for so long.   I even got out our q-tips trying to clean all the crevices.   On a side note, Andrew seemed to feel a whole lot better once he got it out of his system.  After what seemed like FOREVER, a whole bag full of gross items tied up tightly (it got his clothes, his blankets, his B’s, his paci & clip, etc…) and one sour smelling car later, we were off to IKEA.

IKEA was nice, we had breakfast there (Andrew acted like he was starving but we were hesitant to give him too much), just browsed (got a couple inexpensive kitchen rugs), and were on our way to Kenosha.

Crisis #2
Around 12:30 we arrived at our hotel to find out that there pool was down.  The pool is a MAJOR reason we decided to do a hotel for Christmas to begin with.  Well, Marc went in to talk to the lady (who had already given his parents, who had already checked in, a 10% discount to compensate) who was HORRIBLE to him.  Told him, that since he was a man he should understand that parts need to be ordered and that takes time and 10% off of their standard rate of $115 was the best they could do.   Whoa..wait a minute.  I just called two days ago to confirm that our rate was set at $85.   So, she and Marc, um….had a go a’round and he ended up walking out.   So I decided we would all go back in (Andrew and I had been waiting in the car).   We walked back in and she told us that since he walked out…she canceled our rooms.    So, I started talking to her calmly, and I don’t know whether she needed to see that we were just a family on Christmas Eve or talk to another female or what….but she changed immediately.   Like from Jekyll to Hyde (or maybe it’s the other way around).  She calmed down, found our reservation & reserved rate (which she knew we had to begin with…not sure why she messed with Marc), and actually became quite friendly and almost apologetic while wishing us Merry Christmas several times.   And we check in with our 10% discount.   However, there was still no pool.  So, we tried to talk her into helping get into another of their ‘chain’ hotels just to use their pool during the day and she refused due to “management” issues, so we then went hotel shopping…on Christmas Eve.   Totally by the hand of God, the lady behind the desk herself, told us about another hotel down the road that was also suites that we could try and if we liked it, we could cancel there with no problem.  So we went down there and by a miracle, this other hotel had 3 suites available and gave us a rate of $90 a night (much much lower than their standard rate…but Marc was a good negotiator).  Only $5 more per night and a working pool.   We booked them for the entire family (they weren’t there yet, so didn’t know we did this...) and went to unload.  Crisis Number 2 over.  On a side note, this hotel is lovely and MUCH better than the one we were booked at originally.  

We find his folks, get them up to speed and moved to the new hotel (they gave us a big thumbs up), canceled the other reservations, unpacked, did much needed laundry, took naps and just relaxed for the couple hours before dinner.   We went out to Red Lobster for dinner and it was really good.   Busy, since it was like the only place open, but great none-the-less.    Throughout dinner, Andrew drank too full cups of water, so by the end of the dinner, needed a diaper change.

Crisis #3.
I take Andrew back to the restroom and get his very full diaper off and thrown away and start to look for a new diaper, when I realize that I had used the last diaper (from the diaper bag) before we left.  (I had a whole box back at the hotel, but none with me).   I just stood there in front of my little half naked boy clueless as to what to do.  There is no way I could put this other diaper back on him…it was already full and in the trash.    So, finally I took a big stack of paper towels and the one maxi pad I had stashed in a diaper bag pocket, and tried to concoct something that would get us home.   Fortunately we were done dinner and just had to pay the bill at this point.  I take Andrew back out and state that we need to leave NOW.   Well, they were just waiting for the bill and our server who had been absolutely great up until that point…went AWOL.    And well, my concoction lasted mere minutes before Andrew was soaked.    So, back to restroom we went and this time, I only had his changing pad….so stuffed into his already wet pants they went.   The poor kid.   I still feel bad about it.   What kind of mom goes out with a toddler and no diapers?   We pay the bill and head back to the hotel (thinking that the car seat itself can’t get much worse at this point).   By the time we get back to our room….Andrew was completely soaked.    We changed him, cleaned in up, put dry pants on him and he was happy again.  

Ok, so we just hung out the rest of the night, snacked on a bunch of homemade goodies, Andrew charmed Grandpa and Grandma all evening.   Now little man is zonked in his pack and play and I am heading to bed.  It’s 11:20 here, but 12:20 in Michigan. So it’s officially CHRISTMAS!!   Merry Christmas!!